i can't believe i had my finger in that
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize