i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize