I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
