I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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