I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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