Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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