Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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