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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  ...this stays between you and me

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?

  (1-563): View more from Iowa

  The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?

  (713): View more from Texas

  lets deal with that after we figure out where i am

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• (985): View more from Louisiana

  Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive

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• (315): View more from New York

  sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off

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• (406): View more from Montana

  That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.

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