biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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