Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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