I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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