White coat. Heels.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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