Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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