Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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