just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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