She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
