Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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