I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
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First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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