Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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