Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize