u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
