yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize