Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
