just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
i think im in europe. pls send help
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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