so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
