I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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