My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I need a beard to bite.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
