My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
