He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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