she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My first STD was from a foam party
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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