We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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