I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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