you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
