I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize