Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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