I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
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