There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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