hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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