woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Everclear isn't food dammit
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
