Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
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we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
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I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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