Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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