I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
