Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
