it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize