dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
