I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
How does it feel to date your dad?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize