Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
