Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
