God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
