when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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