Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
