"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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