So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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