That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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