Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
