sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Randomize
