Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
