I'm drive I can fine osifer
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She bit a glass in half.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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