Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
