Do you still have your period?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
