His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We left the knife in your bed.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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