In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
