just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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