On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize