I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
