I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
