pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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