Do you still have your period?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
