Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
