thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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