thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize