I think my fart just growled at me.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
